JIM'S WOMENS!

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Jim sure does loves him some womens! And the womens sure likes Citizen Jim! Well. Until he upsets them...


Donna Louise

I tried to quit smoking and drinking I don't know HOW many times. But with someone like Citizen Jim in my life, it was impossible. And now I'm banned from stepping foot inside the public libraries in Greenwood, Tupelo, and Jackson for the rest of my life! I hope he and Harper Lee are happy now!

Nic
Citizen Jim was supposed to take me to the Oscars last year. He said he felt so bad because Tom would be showing up with that awful woman. But Jim never confirmed our date, then I couldn't reach him. Come Oscar night, I was stuck going with Naomi. I love her as a friend, but it just didn't look right. And now I've had to sue a bunch more tabloids. Damn Citizen Jim!

Laura "No 2nd Chances!" Linney
Well, I was nominated for an Oscar last year, and the first person I thought of to go with me to the ceremonies, of course, was Citizen Jim. He said he'd "love to go with me," then he stood me up. My friends all said I needed to give him a second chance, but I decided, NO WAY! I did that when he "borrowed" my car and drove it across the country to see his friend Chicken Sheets, and that was a MISTAKE.


Chicken "Revenge is Mine" Sheets

Don't worry. He'll know neither the time nor the place, but I'll exact my revenge. Oh, indeed, I will...

"Gina"
I'll never forgive him for the way he embarrassed me and my husband at the Mardi Gras ball last year! My friends in Mobile are still talking about it, and they haven't even called me yet about putting my recipe for key lime pie in the next Junior League cookbook! Oh, if we still had any of those slaves Daddy used to own, I'd send one over to Fairhope to give Citizen Jim a whippin he wouldn't soon forget!

Illegitimate Child #6 (?)
Daddy, I love you! Please come home and I won't ever cry or ca-ca or pull your hair again! Bwaaa!