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HOME
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Jim sure
does loves him some womens! And the womens sure likes Citizen
Jim! Well.
Until he upsets them...

Donna Louise
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I
tried to quit smoking and drinking I don't know HOW many times.
But with someone like Citizen Jim in my life, it was impossible.
And now I'm banned from stepping foot inside the public libraries
in Greenwood, Tupelo, and Jackson for the rest of my life!
I hope he and Harper Lee are happy now! |

Nic
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Citizen Jim was
supposed to take me to the Oscars last year. He said
he felt so bad because Tom would be showing up with
that awful woman. But Jim never confirmed our date, then I
couldn't reach him. Come Oscar night, I was stuck going with
Naomi. I love her as a friend, but it just didn't look right.
And now I've had to sue a bunch more tabloids. Damn Citizen
Jim! |
Laura "No 2nd Chances!"
Linney
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Well, I was nominated
for an Oscar last year, and the first person I thought of
to go with me to the ceremonies, of course, was Citizen Jim.
He said he'd "love to go with me," then he stood
me up. My friends all said I needed to give him a second chance,
but I decided, NO WAY! I did that when he "borrowed"
my car and drove it across the country to see his friend Chicken
Sheets, and that was a MISTAKE. |

Chicken "Revenge is Mine" Sheets
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Don't
worry. He'll know neither the time nor the place, but I'll
exact my revenge. Oh, indeed, I will... |

"Gina"
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I'll never forgive
him for the way he embarrassed me and my husband at the Mardi
Gras ball last year! My friends in Mobile are still
talking about it, and they haven't even called me yet about
putting my recipe for key lime pie in the next Junior League
cookbook! Oh, if we still had any of those slaves Daddy used
to own, I'd send one over to Fairhope to give Citizen Jim
a whippin he wouldn't soon forget! |

Illegitimate Child #6 (?)
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Daddy,
I love you! Please come home and I won't ever cry or ca-ca
or pull your hair again! Bwaaa! |
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